Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Lessons in Dating

Ok Ladies We are all in search of that “Good Man” You know the one who treats you like a queen, cooks your dinner, runs your bath…and the list goes on. You pray to GOD every day to send that “Good Man” your way. You might have been dragged through hell and back by men in your past, and you’re just tired of dramatics in your relationships. You are done with the cheating, the lies, and finding out that he done got some chick pregnant, and to top it off he had a wife the entire time y’all were together. Ladies you know the list goes on with the crazy situations men seem to love put us in. So we constantly pray “LORD, please send me a “GOD FEARING” man who loves you and will love and respect me too.” We’ve all said this prayer; well I know I have at least. So take these scenarios:

                Scenario 1:
                You are walking through the mall and you are approached by this man who is wearing an old Hugo Boss shirt, FUBU jeans, and has a nerve to have on some REEBOKS that look like they been in his closet since 1986. His features are average, but there is nothing that really stands out about him. He approaches you with the utmost respect: “Excuse me miss, I’m not going to take up much of your time but I just wanted to stop you to let you know you have the most beautiful smile. Can I take you out sometime? He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he patiently waits for your answer.
(Pause:  You immediately start thinking in your head; I know this old dusty looking cornball did not just approach me like that. He has no swag at all, I mean look at me.  Do I look like I would be caught dead out in the open with a guy looking like that? I almost feel disrespected that you would even approach me looking like a mess. He isn’t even close to living up to my standards)
                So your response to the nice respectful gentlemen is just a dry “Naw I’m good” You turn and walk away, leaving this man standing with a bruised ego. You didn’t even give him a chance solely based on his outward appearance.

                Scenario 2:
                You walk out the mall still a little amused by the guy who just approached you; looking like he just rolled around in the sand at the beach. In route to your car you hear an “Aye girl where your man at” from behind. You spin around to see the most gorgeous brother staring back at you; his caramel skin and style remind you of TI. He is dressed nicely from head to toe, and his cut looks like he just came fresh from the barber shop. You say a little prayer and look down at his feet, and you breathe a sigh of relief as you look down at his shoes that look fresh out the box. The way he speaks to you almost puts you in a trance. He knows all the right things to say his eyes wander all around your body as he speaks, but you don’t mind. You know you look good! You give him your number and you are on your way, with a smile on your face.

I asked one of my male friends to tell me what he does when he approaches females. He said If she looks like a hoe I will talk to her like she a hoe, if she looks nice I will approach her more nicely. Think about the last time you were approached by a male. What did he say? Were his eyes wandering the whole time? Did it seem like he had more than a fifth grade vocabulary? Why can’t we seem to get past outward appearances? If a man can’t respect you in his initial approach, why would he respect you in the relationship?

Moral of the story:
FAITH WITHOUT WORKS IS DEAD!!! How can you pray for GOD to bless you with a good man when you can’t get past the standards you have for the men you talk to??? I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a man walking around with a sign on his head that said “I’m the one you’ve been praying for.” It’s just not that easy. You have no way of knowing if the man GOD has for you is tall, skinny, fat, or can dress.  Has it ever crossed your mind that you may be in a bad relationship as a result of listening to your own heart and not GODS? Simply put if you pray and you are approached by a brother soon after GIVE THE MAN A CHANCE. Don’t miss out on your blessing even if he has dusty shoes!!!